Sunday 14 October 2012

Tale of Recollection #2

So there I was, plummeting towards Earth, clearly at such speed, crashing into the ground would kill me. But I knew I wasn't going to be able to find out as I was starting to black out. I wasn't actually that scared, to be honest I was rather pissed at how easy Paralaladox defeated me. If I was still holding my interdimensionary laser katana, I would've defeated him with ease. Eventually I blacked out.

I awoke to find myself being stared at by a bunch of random people, they looked concerned, but I had no idea why. I felt fine, but then I remembered that I had been falling towards the ground at like 100MPH, but I didn't feel like I had smashed into the ground... I noticed that I was lying on the ground, so I tried to stand up, only to fall back over, my sense of balance seemed off. I tried getting up more carefully the second time, but my sense of balance still seemed off.

"Are you alright miss?" one of those random people said to me, I was a little concerned that he had called me miss, I mean I didn't think I looked that feminine... "Do I really look that feminine to you?" The random person looked at me oddly "Well the breasts are kind of a give away..." they said. I replied "Well yeah, I gues- wait what?!" I looked down and saw that two lumps were coming from my chest. The random people started saying how I may have a concussion and should go see a doctor. But I told them that I was just kidding and that I should really be going, with that I ran off, around the corner.

I looked at my reflection through a shop window and saw that I definitely was a woman, I now had shoulder length black hair, green eyes... other stuff that had changed... I was even wearing different clothes than I had before. I checked my pockets for any ID, and found a card saying that this woman's name was The 'Living' Woman. I had no idea what was going and was starting to consider that I now had the ability to change forms when suddenly a mobile phone in my pocket was ringing.

But again, I have to cut this short as I need to go do something again.

Good luck in your endeavours, Writerer.











Wednesday 3 October 2012

Tale of Recollection #1

So, yeah, I haven't updated my blog in a long time, its mainly because I've been pretty busy and mainly because I've had to get a new laptop. So, for your benefit reader, I'm gonna do a few tales of recollection that'll say what happened to me since my last post!

So there I was, being dragged in a cage by Danny the stabber, he was surprisingly strong to drag me all the way up this mountain. I was pretty pissed off at him, considering he was unnecessarily betraying me to take me to Super Archangel, which was where I was going in the first place, plus he had done some sort of spell to stop me from being able to speak. We were almost at the top of the mountain and I could see a bright amber glow coming from it, there were steampunk tentacles flailing all over the place.

He started chuckling ominously and began to slow his cage dragging process until it finally came to a stop. By this time, we were at the top and in horror I looked over to see Super Archangel floating about 5 inches from the ground in a glowing amber sphere. As I looked at it, the sphere started to crack apart and with a huge shine, Super Archangel appeared before me, he looked a lot more powerful and was at least 5 inches taller. He clicked his fingers and all of a sudden, I could speak again.

Super Archangel: Ahhhh you've made it I see!
Me: Why did you have this guy knock me out?!
Super Archangel: To bring you to me, obviously!
Me: But I was coming t- Is everybody in Bliss a fucking idiot?!
Danny: Takes one to know one...
Me: ARRRRGGGHHH!!!

At this point, I got out my laser katana that Danny hadn't taken off of me which probably would've been smart. With it, I did one of those spinning slashes that you see Link do in the Legend of Zelda and with that the cage was broken. I leaped at Danny to chop him in half, but he was suddenly absorbed into Super Archangel who then proceeded to attack me with his steampunk tentacles with the blades at the end. I did a few barrel rolls and managed to chop them off.

But the severed tentacles just slithered into Super Archangel's hand and they morphed into a steampunk scythe. He began to start spinning the scythe and with it dawned on me that he was using his limit break, without even needing to charge it! Super Archangel shouted out "Steampunk Archangel's Smite!" and a steampunk whirlwind shot out from his spinning scythe. This time I was ready though and I ripped open a portal to some place called the crumbling castle and Super Archangel's limit break blast just shot into that, before the portal closed I could hear an explosion.

Clearly getting annoyed, Super Archangel shouted "That's it! Steampunk scythe swing!" and he zoomed towards me with his steampunk scythe glowing a bright amber colour, I tried to block with my laser katana but as the steampunk scythe collided with it, the laser katana shattered. As soon as it shattered, loud manic giggling filled the area, I looked at Super Archangel, but he was equally confused about it. I looked down at my laser katana to notice it was releasing this huge amount of smoke.

The smoke rose up into the air and formed into this huge face of some guy, wearing these huge sets of headphones. He looked Icelandic. Me and Super Archangel continued watching as he eventually became a complete giant floating head. "Who are you?!" Super Archangel questioned the floating face. The giant face looked down at us and with a loud giggle, he began to speak "I am Paralaladox!"  he had the same voice that the voice in my head had. I realised he must have been the same person as the voice. I decided at that moment, if I were ever to write about him a conversation recollection, as P-Dox.

Me: You! You're the voice!
P-Dox: No shit, Sherlock!
Super Archangel: Where the hell did you come from anyway?!
P-Dox: After you smashed that laser katana that I've been trapped in for one thousand and 1 years, I was finally released!
Super Archangel: Well, prepare to be dispatched!

With that remark, Super Archangel shot his steampunk tentacles at Paralaladox, but with a click of Paraladox's tongue, Super Archangel suddenly went flying across Bliss and crashed in Blissville.

P-Dox: Ha! You really think you can take on the Fear of Multiverses?!
Writerer: Thanks man! If ya don't mind though I kinda-
P-Dox: I'm not a good guy you fool... Now off with you!
Writerer: Wha-?!

Suddenly, a portal appeared underneath me, which left me no choice but to fall through it and everything went black.

I'll rap up here and continue my tale of recollection later, I really need to go do something right now.

Good luck in your endeavours, Writerer.

Monday 6 August 2012

Betrayal and Cages

So me and Danny were on our way to the Forest of Void when all of a sudden, Danny whacked me on the head with the hilt of his knife. It hurt like hell and then every started going blue... I think everything was supposed to go black, but this is Bliss that I'm in, so I kinda guessed things will be different. And with that, I started going down until I fully went unconscious.

I woke up to find myself inside what appeared to be a cage, I could see it was crudely constucted out of stone; just a roof, floor, door and bars. The cage was somewhat old as it had moss growing all over it, I don't know how I was able to tell judging by how dark it was. I turned around to see someone was pulling this cage up some sort of mountain path, it was Danny! He was pulling the cage with a rope as if I weighed nothing, something was different about him... Without looking back at me, he began to speak.

Danny: "So you're finally awake huh...?"
Me: "What's going on you crazy bastard?!"
Danny: "I knocked you out, put you in a cage and now I'm pulling the cage with you in it..."
Me: "Ok...Why did you do that stuff."
Danny: "So that I can take you to the Super Archangel..."
Me: "Wha-?"
Danny: "The ultimate Bliss lord has commanded that I bring you to him. So it was necessary for me to knock you out so you couldn't stop me from bringing you to him..."
Me: "But I was trying to get to him in first place! You were already bringing me to him!"
Danny: "Yes but, you were going the wrong way..."
Me: "But you were leading me that way!"
Danny: "Enough! We draw near to the Super Archangel!

With that last sentence, Danny reached into the cage and fucking slapped me. After he did though, I felt a burning sensation on my cheek, I found that after being slapped, I could no longer open my mouth to speak. I was pretty pissed at this, so I just started typing this post. And here I am now, we're almost at the top of the mountain and I can see steampunk tentacles flailing all over the place up there. I'm going to admit it, I'm a little bit nervous... but I've got a plan. I'll end this post here for now.

Good luck in your endeavours, Writerer. Except you Danny, you suck.

Wednesday 1 August 2012

Walking and More Walking

So from what the map says, me and Danny are going to have to pass through three main areas, the map calls them; The Forest of Void, Bliss Inner city and The Jagged Corner. I don't exactly know what they look like though, the map literally just displays names. Danny says it doesn't need pictures but I think you readers agree with me that the pictures are the only thing that makes maps at all interesting.

The map says that we're gonna have to pass through The Forest of Void first and to be honest, I'm not to fussed about going to it... I mean, how bad can voids possibly be? By looking at the map, people not knowing the name of the forest is probably how the forest is going to get them. I asked Danny if he's ever been to it and he said its sprung up only recently.

I hope we get their soon, we've kind of just been walking this whole time, I wanted to get a Bliss taxi but I sunk all my money on the Bliss hotel room that I never even used and Danny doesn't have any money... I'm pretty sure he's a Bliss hobo. The reason that I'm able to rest my legs and type up this post at the moment is because Danny started stabbing a tree...

Oh wait, he's apparently done now... I guess I should end this post up then.

Good luck in your endeavours, Writerer.

Monday 30 July 2012

Blissville and Danny the stabber

I managed to find is some weird town called Blissville. When I jumped through the portal, I ended up right in the middle of the village and all of the town's people were staring at me...with their weird blissful expressions. I'm actually kind of annoyed about that to be honest, I seem to be the only one in Bliss that doesn't feel any bliss, I have no idea why though! Its probably the interdimensionary laser katana working its lasery magics on me.

When I arrived in Blissville, I was told by one of the town's people that I would need to get my money exchanged for Bliss dollars, which only gave me like 30 Bliss dollars to £100. Its ok though, because I had enough to pay for a hotel room and a team of people to keep my portal open and some weird food called Bliss nuggets...they're alright though, they're chewy. The town's people are actually quite friendly, they're just kind of annoying to talk to because they're blissful all the time and they go on about how much they love the Archangel.

Once I had all my affairs in Blissville sorted, I started going around town asking about Super Archangel and his whereabouts but they just started dancing and uttering what they called 'super prayers' to him. I was starting to get annoyed when I suddenly heard the voice again. We actually had a nice conversation.

Voice: Sup, Writerer hows it going?
Me: Trying to find out where Super Archangel is...
Voice: Follow the red lines.
Me: Wha?
Voice: Follow the fucking red lines!
Me: Ok! Ok!

So I took the voice's advice and followed a red line which was conveniently right in front of me, I took about 8 steps before it ended though, I turned around to leave to come face to face with a bearded gentleman with a monocle. He looked at me with a crazed expression and whispered "I hear you're looking for Super Archangel...". I nodded slowly and took a step back away from him. "They call me Danny the stabber in these parts... can you guess why?" he said as he began to draw a knife from his pants and then I noticed that it was in fact... a laser knife!

He lunged at me but I quickly parried with my laser katana and from there we had an epic battle that was so amazing that I can't possibly describe it properly in this post, so I won't try. Eventually though, we tired each other out and we went to Danny's cabin to discuss stuff. He lit his pipe (yeah, he smokes a pipe) and began telling me about how Super Archangel has begun trying to make Bliss more civilized and has begun removing the blissfulness feeling in people, he then told me of a map that always leads towards Archangel so it should still work on Super Archangel.

Danny got up at that point and got the map out of his pants and handed it over to me.

Danny: That is the map that leads to Super Archangel!
Me: Ok, ok, you don't need to yell...
Danny: I shall accompany you on your journey!
Me: Uh...no thats alri-
Danny: ONWARDS!!!!

And at that, he ran out of the door, I should probably set off too. I was just using Danny's computer to type up this post. Yep, they have computers here in bliss now, oddly enough, they run on windows 7... Well anyway, I really should set off on my journey.

Good luck in your endeavours, Writerer.

Wednesday 25 July 2012

Bass Solo and Super Archangel

Something bad just happened. Well, I say bad, you probably won't find it as bad as I find it bad, or like someone who doesn't read this blog at all, won't find it bad in the slightest, but I find it bad and that's how I'm going to describe the situation. I'm getting sidetracked... The fact of the matter is, something bad has happened, my room mate... has been taken. Here's the story of what happened:

Basically, me and my room mate were playing guitar hero and my room mate was yelling at me because I kept trying to do bass solos. When all of a sudden, there was a loud explosion from up stairs which alarmed us both, but then I remembered that I had set my computer to play the sound of explosions at random intervals so we calmed down a bit. All of a sudden, we saw Archangel crashing through the window.

Archangel stood up, shaking off the glass and looked over at me and my room mate. "Sup..." he said, me and my room mate didn't really respond, we were kind of startled. He then said "Usually its polite to say hi back but whatever...But anyway, Writerer! Witness as I gain ultimate power!" I had had enough of Archangel by then so I went, "What is your problem?!" This made the Archangel step back a bit as if I made him jump.

He didn't answer me, but instead took a glass orb out of his pocket. I noticed that a miniature slenderman was trapped inside it, I could see him trying to break free from the glass orb, slenderman looked mad. Archangel rose the glass orb in the air and shouted "Watch as I gain ultimate power!" and then Archangel started eating the glass orb, don't ask me how he did it with a gas mask, he literally started eating the glass orb with slenderman in it!

And suddenly, a silvery glow came out of Archangel's gas mask eye parts. As this happened, I turned to see my room mate being dragged by an invisible force towards Archangel, she didn't seem very happy about it...in fact, she seemed scared. I rushed over and tried to grab her hand, to pull her away from Archangel, but I was to late... she got sucked into Archangel's gas mask. As soon as that happened, the silvery light, turned golden.

As I watched Archangel do something, I saw him beginning to get taller and more and more steampunky, he also started to take his trench coat off for some reason... he didn't have a shirt on underneath, he didn't have nipples either, nor a bellybutton. After about 1/2 an hour, the light stopped and I looked at Archangel to see this. (I took a picture of him, don't ask how or why.)



"This...power...it is so...powerful!" he said, with a mixture of Archangel's, Slenderman's  and my room mate's voice. I stepped back a little. "What did you do to my room mate, Archangel!" I shouted at him. He looked over at me and said "I am no longer Archangel... Call me SUPER ARCHANGEL!" I thought that was a stupid name and was about to tell him when suddenly he rose one of his steampunk styled tentacles and with a flash of golden light, someone appeared in its grasp.

I realised that it wasn't just any person, it was this guy I knew, he went by the name Somnambulist. Somnambulist looked at me and said "All is right when you make the rules!" Super Archangel rose another steampunk tentacle and jammed it into Somnambulist's brain and before I knew it, he was dead. "Why the hell did you do that?!" I yelled at Super Archangel. He laughed at me and said "Testing out my powers... well I'll be leaving then, we shall have out battle a bit later, I have more power testing to do." and with that, he disappeared in a flash of smoke.

I was left standing there, alone. My room mate was actually gone this time... and I wasn't about to just sit down and take it, that dick head had taken my room mate and I can't afford to pay the rent by myself. So I grabbed my laser katana and slashed open a portal to bliss. I'm just getting my stuff ready and writing this post before I go.

I guess you could call this whole situation was... Khaos...

Good luck in your endeavours, Writerer.

Tuesday 24 July 2012

Interlude and Weaponized Xbox Controllers

So lately, me and room mate have just been chilling out, we were pretty happy that we had defeated both Slenderman and Archangel. But I can't shake the feeling the feeling that something bigger, badder and stronger too, like the best member of that eldritch crew is going to show up at anytime. I told my room mate about this and she just laughed and threw an xbox controller at me... I'm not sure why she felt the need to throw something at me, but I'm probably going to refrain from telling her stuff like that for a while.

Good luck in your endeavours, Writerer.